Engaging Relationships as the Framework for Success

Often times when we are being asked, what is our definition of success, some of us may say, degrees; wealth; achievements; properties.

Today, I'll like to share with you one of my reflections from the book "Leadership Gold" by John Maxwell.

First chapter talks about, its you're alone at the top; you're doing something wrong. It is so true. I used to think about success is about getting things done, achieving certain goals, and reaching the top.

But more and more I am beginning to believe that without engaging relationships, being at the top means nothing. At best, you've friends who only want to be with you, if you're at the top. Now, don't get me wrong, there are friends who would be with you whether you're the King of the Hill or at the bottom of the rock pile.

My point is this. If we begin to see relationship, or for that matter; engaging relationships as the framework for success, we would want to not only reach the top but also bring others along.

First, what we meant by "framework" is essentially the thinking behind it. Its what we called, the approach. In other words, it essentially governs the way we do things or the way we behave. It also establishes the boundaries of what we can do and what we will not do. In a nutshell, it is the "mind-set". With a certain mind-set, we then surface the assumptions in which we hold dear.

Hence, if engaging relationships is the mind-set that we have about success, then many things become clear. We will not choose to achieve a goal at the expense of causing strains to relationships. We will not choose to back-stab another just to get ahead. We will, however, choose to show respect and empathy towards our team-mates. We will choose people before processes. We will also choose to do things together and not to seek glory for ourselves alone.

That said, if we are going from a previous and possibly mis-aligned framework of success to one of "engaged relationships", there will be some transitions to make. And change will come with it. But to win with people, we must first make sure that we can win with ourselves. Meaning, we must convince ourselves first that "engaging relationships" is indeed the framework for success.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)