3Ps of Relationships

I have come to accept the purpose of my life is to work with people on how to establish engaging relationships. Today I would like to share with you about the 3Ps of relationships.

I believe that having engaging relationship with self, others in a social context, and others at work is Personal, Possible, and Profitable.

In fact, we've all heard how we sometimes say, well, if he does this, then I will do this. Or he made me do this. He made me this way or that way. Now, the fact is if we really want to have engaging relationships with others it starts with self. It is personal.

Personal, or your relationship with yourself, may seem a little odd to most people at first glance. Some may even question the need to look at self-relationship. Or others may quiz about the possibility.

Well, relationship with yourself goes beyond just knowing who you are (identity) but also what is your purpose (personal mission). I believe and firmly stand by the fact that everyone should have a personal mission statement. It talks about what your life's work is going to be. It is about discovering your purpose. If identity gives you direction, purpose gives you speed. We may see ourselves as a teacher, as a parent, as a friend; but until there is a purpose we sometimes find it had to summon enough energy to press on.

Next, it is possible to have engaging relationships. I in fact had a huge issue with trusting others. Its because of what I went through previously that left me with a bitter relationship with a friend whom I went to work for. Now I can blame him and continue not trusting others. Or I could learn from that episode and see things from a different perspectives. I chose to take on that personal aspect of forgiving myself for all that had happened. I was like, "how can you allow yourself to do that?", "oh well, I forgive you. Let's move on".

Until I was able to re-establish my relationship with self, and trust myself again I will not be able to move on to the "possible" part of relationship. Actually the possible part is simple. There are essentially 4 principles that we need to remember and practice daily. They are leverage, synergy, abundance, and empathy.

Well, I think if I were to ask you what are the essentials of an engaging relationship, you'd probably have your version too. But the thing that we are all guilty of is; "if we know what we know, why do we do what we do"?

I believe, according to the "Rings of Engagement" our behaviors are governed by our beliefs and values. So, unless we feel right or feel good about doing something, we won't do it.

True, I have my challenges. But I am committed to making improvements on a daily basis. Much like investing $1 a dollar, consistently, in good times or otherwise; and allowing the power of compounding work. I once calculated that if you'd started investing with $1,000 and if you had a vehicle that yields you 25% annually; you'd have accumulated $1 million after some 25 years. This is my belief that it is possible and also profitable. It is also aligned to my value of "learning and growth".

In fact relationships are much like investing. Unless you start investing in relationships, it will not happen overnight. Remember those get-rich-quick schemes and how people lose their money? Its probably get-rich-quick for those who promote it.

In relationships, imagine you have one that is strained. One which in Covey's terms, you had withdrawn too much from the emotional bank account. You can't suddenly turn to that someone and say, look, just this once?! Relationships must be invested, it must be nurtured, it must be cultivated.

So, my friends; go out today and start thinking of the 3Ps of relationship and see how you can make this world a better place.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)