Why Gift?

Before we discuss about "GIFT", let us first examine the "why" part.

It is important that after you have decided on your goal (G), that you examine your intentions, motives, and purposes.

Many a times, we want to achieve a certain goal, be it to do well in school, to capture 30 percent of market share, to own that SUV, to have a million bucks; but we may not know or search deep enough on our reasons why we want it.

With regards to that, there could be only two reasons why we want to achieve that goal. To move towards (pleasure) or to move away (pain) from a certain outcome.

Let's say your goal is to own that SUV, you could be moving towards outcomes such as to get around in a safe and reliable car, to own that dream car, or simply just to arrive in style. These are all pleasures. Our mind would visualise how it would be like if we drive that SUV and the kind of positive emotions.

Or perhaps you want to be debt-free, as you are sick and tired of having your debtors calling you and reminding you in making payments, or you know if you do not find a way to rid yourself of these debts, you could be made a bankrupt. These are all negative emotions and you want to move away from them.

To examine a deeper level of moving towards or away, we can further divide them into two dimensions, internal and external. Internally towards can be that you want to be able to live up to those values and principles you hold so dear. You want to be able to walk-the-talk.

Or to move away internally could be, you wanting to disassociate yourself from the labels that others have branded you. "Oh, he is a loser, he can never trust him." Or "he is a ex-convict, we must be careful when dealing with him". You get the point. Here, one wants to achieve a goal because he was to shake off that label.

Of course there are externally towards and away factors, these you're probably familiar with, such as having a million bucks (could be external towards) while living hand-to-mouth (could be external away).

There are some people who believes that "towards" are more sustainable than "away". Reason being, you can be moving away from being debt-free but as you are working on that goal and now having some level of debt is bearable instead of previously. Hence because of that you might slack.

I don't disagree with that argument but for most of us, each goal may have several "towards" and "aways"; and both "internal" and "external". So unless we identify all these factors, when it becomes increasingly difficult to achieve that goal (like wanting that market share but unwilling to clock that extra hours) or when it becomes soft (like I used to owe $30k but now am owing $10k, with my current salary I can survive now, no need to be so thrifty) we will fall by the side.

Hence, with each goal, we gotta ask ourselves WHY, at least five times, so that we can really examine which of our reasons are "internal or external" and which of these are "towards or away".

Better yet, if you have a personal mission statement, have identified your core values and principles, then it is critical to link your WHY to your mission, values, and principles.

In doing so, you are identifying your "internal" whys. Once that is done, you will increase your chances of achieving your goals by at least five-folds (if you had ask yourself at least five times). Reason is because with each why, you then give yourself the reason why you embark on this goal in the first place.

And hence the next challenge that shows up (and trust me, challenge always shows up uninvited), you'd be able to go back to your 5-WHYS and see which of these whys can counter Mr Challenge. And Mr Challenge is like those obstacles in video games, if you use the right weapon (why) against Mr Challenge, you will subdue it and move on to the next stage.

If of course you sit and scratch no whys, or if they are too lame (like arriving in style) then that goal is probably not worth it. And also, if one of your whys is, so I can show-off to so-and-so, then its probably not worth it too. Because, why would anyone want to buy something, with money that they don't have, to impress people that they don't like?

Respectfully yours,
Melvyn Tan
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)