Happiness - An Eternal Emotion

In a recent article in NYT, Simon Critchley wrote about happiness and how it is God-like (http://bit.ly/19qDAS).

What I found to be profound was his citation of Ludwig Wittgenstein - "Tractatus" that "the eternal life is given to those who live in the present."

Reason I can identify with that sentence was my personal subscription to Zen philosophy. The main thesis being "be in the present". Whatever you are doing right now is the most important thing. Whoever you are with is the most important person. And the best time to do anything is now.

Stated simply, and in non Zen-language, is to be totally present in the here and now. You cannot be doing something but with your mind thinking about what happened last night as you cannot go back and change things. Likewise focusing on what to do next is fruitless as you cannot do anything right now.

For instance, when spending time with your child, you should not be thinking about the meeting you had nor should you be thinking about the work that needs to get done later.

John Wooden says it this way; you need to give your 100 percent during training as you are not able to give just 60 percent and make it up tomorrow by giving 140 percent. At any point in time, you can only give up to 100 percent.

Therefore, I find that to do something and not regret about it later, as " time is nothing but the experience of the present through which one passes without hurry, but without regret". (Cited from the NYT article).

And to have an experience without regret is to be present, do it to the best of your ability (giving your 100 percent), and focus your mind on it totally (in other words, to not be distracted).

Can you imagine a air-traffic controller who is not being present, giving only 60 percent of her ability, and getting distracted by her date with her dream guy after work? What if, because of that, she slipped and a plane crashed as a result?

That would be disastrous! Imagine she saying, well, tomorrow I'll give my 140 percent? If she has any conscience, how do you think she can live with the fact that lives were lost because she was not being present?

Ridiculous as you may say. But is it really?

Finally I believe it comes back to three fundamental principles. One, the concept of being present. We must not be held hostage by our past nor worry unduly about our future when engaged in any task. We can't change history and we can't do anything about the future until we get there. That doesn't mean you should live life without a care in the world. You should and it must be done at an allocated time. Not when you are doing something else.

Two, the idea of being true to yourself. People cannot see your intention but only your behavior. And intentions are clearly aligned to your values. And if you are a person of integrity, you will be doing whatever you are doing with the best of intentions. As we can fake it. But then your behaviors would not be consistent. And eventually it will show.

Three, the thing about your ability. If you are a 6 in performing a task, then you must give a 6 each time. Clients don't pay you to be a 4 when you are a 6. And of course, because you are a 6, you cannot be expected to be paid like a 9. Which means you should take the effort to improve but this is outside the scope of this discussion.

Hence, if we are present, with good intentions, and give your best everytime; of course with consistency, soon people will come to recognize that. And it will certainly lead to the eternal emotion that we all want; and that's happiness.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

No Question is too Big

I admire the works of Jim Collins. Having read both "Built to Last" and "Good to Great", it has given me insights into two key concepts. Chiefly, Right People on the Right Seats and Hedgehog Concept.

A recent article in The New York Times, "For Jim Collins, No Question is too Big" (http://bit.ly/1ar8cR), inspired me to relook at three key areas in my life. One is the use of my time. While I have always observed the use of time as an instrumental factor in determining if someone is (or will be) successful, I didn't have a clue how to set a goal in this dimension.

Collins has it spelled out. 53 percent on creative activities, 28 percent on teaching, and 19% on others. Obviously Collins' formula doesn't fit mine but it gave me an insight into how I would effectively allocate my time so as to fulfill my purpose in life. I do lots of consulting work currently and enjoy it. However, I do find myself doing certain low value-add activities that wears me and slows me down. Also, while I want to embark on researching on how to build engaging relationships, I find myself doing it on an ad-hoc basis or at best opportunistic.

In fact, if I were to allocate time to three key activities, it would be learning & growth, putting what I've learnt into practice and doing it with excellence (in other words, investing in up to 10,000 hours as Malcolm Gladwell puts it), and finally doing creative and innovative work (to create new materials which will generate multiple future growth paths). As a matter of fact, it ties in with my core values (and that of my firm LINE Consulting - Singapore).

This I find it to be an exhilarating breakthrough for me as it gives me an idea of how I should better invest in my time. As Linkin Park sings it, "Time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away".

The second key area is in the way Collins manages his firm. In the article it was said that he keeps his overheads low and runs a tight ship by hiring only five people. And that idea came from none other than management guru Peter Drucker that if you build a big organization, then you will end up managing it instead of allocating your time to the most productive and meaningful work.

And finally, the third key area is about being completely Socratic. Though, as NLP-trained, I've learnt the technique of asking questions using different techniques, I find the concept of Socratic questioning absolutely seductive. Reason?

It challenges assumptions. We all make assumptions in life. An as a trained economist, of course I for one should understand and appreciate making assumptions more than others. However assumptions also get us into trouble. Therefore, getting people to re-examine their assumptions doesn't always mean to get them to come up with different answers. Often times, it get them to re-look at the same issue from a different perspectives. And with different perspectives come alternative solutions or at least to gain greater clarity in why people do things.

That said, I'm all set for the next 99-Day phase for this year. Bring it on!

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Reverse Mentor

I was reading "Six Ways to Boost Creativity" from the Corner Office and one of the ideas really caught my attention. That of hiring a "reverse mentor".

The idea is as follows: as the world is changing at such a rapid rate, it would be beneficial to hire someone younger (and more in touch with NG - new generation) to get you up to speed on new trends and developments; such as leveraging on social networking or blogsphere.

Reason I found it to be really attractive is this. Many of us might have the experience of the "old economy" that we are unfamiliar or even intimidated by the "new economy". I didn't use Facebook until much later (am a laggard in this respect) as it initially didn't have the appeal for me and also I didn't think it fits my professional profile.

It was not until I recognized the power of social networking and how I can leverage on it as a tool for marketing, positioning, and branding that I decided to take another look. Even that still didn't give me a compelling reason to make the leap. Then, after realizing that social networking if done right, in a professional manner, with consistency, and done within the context of my work-flow; it can not only be effective, it can also be profitable.

During my trip to Japan to attend the International Aikido Federation in 2008, I uploaded pictures and wrote about the event as the day unfolded. It generated much talk among my fellow Aikido practitioners who were in Singapore. In fact some of them visited my Facebook account throughout the trip in order to be updated on what's happening. I was flattered.

And then it struck me that using similar platforms (such as Facebook, Twitter, and Blog) could allow me to update my friends and Schools that I work on (i) what we've been up to, (ii) share about our new developments, and (iii) engage them through meaningful and valuable discussions such as this.

In fact, through this channel, we have been able to let the Schools know that we were engaged by MOE to designe, develop, and deliver the training for School Staff Developers (SSDs) in April. And to my delight, several key people from Schools in fact asked me about the training.

That definitely gave us that added credibility that we've already established with Schools. Also, since they are on my Facebook, I didn't have to 'push' that information to them; they were actually 'pulled' to it.

An added point is that, as people will trust their friends more than advertisements; the fact that these photos were made available to "everyone" and not just "my friends" gave us that ability to share with others what we do in ways that were previously not available to us.

So, while I didn't exactly have a reverse mentor; I did manage to tap into this rich resource nonetheless. So, in case you are wondering, we are off to the next NG tools to give us the leverage to take us to 3.0.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Life's Disappointments are not God's Denial

We all experience failures at some point in our lives. As Einstein said, "anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." And if we look at it from another perspective; as Edison did, "I've never failed, I've just discovered 10000 ways not to do something."

Einstein's quote is about our willingness to make a mistake, or fail at something, so as to discover a new way of doing things; while Edison's quote speaks about failure as an evaluated experience.

As leaders, we ourselves must learn to reflect on our behaviors each day, so slow down the thinking process and evaluate if and how we can make improvements in our daily activities so as to achieve our ultimate goal, and that is to fulfill our life's mission.

I'm not sure what's yours but its probably very different from mine.

Three points I would like to make on today's discussion about "life's disappointments are not God's denial".

First, as a believer I know that God has implanted in each of us a mission in life. That mission is to do great things. It may seem insignificant to another but the point is, if we go about it each day to work towards fulfilling that mission; we would have led a full life.

Hence, as leaders we must not see our roles as in nurturing talents but to believe that everyone already have the talents. Meaning, we must believe in the intrinsic worth of every individual.

John Buchan said it nicely that the task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.

Second, as leaders we must recognize that when people fail, we must work with them to evaluate their actions and identify why they failed. Was it due to conditions that were beyond their control or was it due to reasons within their influence.

Here, individuals who are proactive will look within to identify the reasons why they fail. Reactive ones will look outside for excuses for their failure.

As John Maxwell puts it, "it's easier to go from failure to success than from excuses to success". I find that to be so true.

Third and final point is this. We will all experience some form of disappointment in life. But to think that it is because of God's denial is definitely a faulty thought. Since our thoughts about things will affect our feelings about it; we cannot deny the fact that if we have empowering feelings the results will greatly differ if we habor disempowering feelings.

Hence, how can we get ourselves to feel happy regardless? I believe the secret lies within. And that means, if we are being "present" and focusing on what we are currently doing (and not be held hostage by the past nor worry about the future - where both are outside your span of influence) and do it to the best we can, given our ability, we will always be in that state of happiness.

And what could be better than be doing something, which you know it's God's plans for you, your life's mission? I'll leave you with a verse from the Bible.

Ecclesiastes 2:26 (NIV) - To the man who pleases Him, God gives him wisdom, knowledge, and happiness, but to the sinner He gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Three Key Lessons from Apple (without Steve Jobs)

By now, some of you would have heard me talked about how I've come one full cycle with regards to computers.

You see, I started with a Mac and have recently only bought a Mac. What's funny is that, at that point in time when I bought it (more like my Dad got it for me), Jobs was in some kind of trouble with the Board. I recalled my friend's (who introduced me to the Mac) mom commenting that would Apple go downhill as Jobs was no longer the boss. Our replies were, nay, how can a company be so dependent on just one person.

Boy, how wrong we were. Of course since Jobs return in 97, Apple has made the quantum leap to a phenomenal company with super-normal profits (and not to mention the securities prices).

Now in 2009, when my purchase of the MacBook Pro, Jobs is on medical leave of absence. Am I in trouble again? Well, I must say in this respect I am indeed a laggard as there were so many considerations; from software to accessories to learning how to use the machine.

I finally took the plunge anyway as the ability to equip myself with the necessary resources to boost my productivity and also to enhance my ability to produce aesthetically desirable materials (clearly the PCs just doesn't do it) was just too huge to ignore.

Then I got this e-newsletter from Bnet.com which carries the article on "Life at Apple after Steve Jobs". (You may read it here - http://is.gd/FVPz)

The article said that Jobs is a one-of-a-kind business icon and history shows that without Jobs, the Apple is likely to flounder. What really caught my attention was the three key lessons. Let's look at each lesson in turn.

(1) Just like people, all companies have lifecycles. This should come as no surprise since people run them.

I agree with the first point, as in Economics we studied economic cycles, this is no stranger to me. In fact, all companies go through the four phases. If the business survives the "survival" phase, then it will go on to the "growth" phase, before it comes to the third phase (which could be different for different companies - see my other discussion on Strategic Inflection Point) and finally the fourth phase.

This third phase could be "dominance" as in the company dominates the industry, or it could be the "maintenance" phase where the business simply maintains (and defends) its existing market share (which could be due to a resource issue), or it could experience a "phenomenal" era, where the company grows at an exponential rate through new markets and/or products.

Then for sure, it will come to the fourth phase. This finally phase could be demise for some or it could be where companies do great things, as in Good to Great (Jim Collins). Some companies do not even go through Phase 3 (or just briefly) before they go into Phase 4 and fade out. Some do well in Phase 3 but lost direction and fizzle out. There are just few that go from good to great in Phase 4.

I think part of how to move from good to great can be found in the other two lessons:

(2) When it comes to evaluating companies and businesses, people tend to have very short memories - here it is so true for companies or businesses, especially in the service sector. And that is why it is critical that companies remember to, ever so often, dominate the mind-share of consumers. Then again decide early if you want the premium or mass market for the strategies greatly differ.

My wife and I eat out a lot and recently we visited a higher-end restaurant and one of the main thing I noticed was that the servers acknowledge most of the customers by name. It was highly personal and though we are not one of the regulars; we were well attended to nonetheless. Also, with the personalized treatment, it effectively engages people at the emotional level (people like it when being treated in a focused manner). This is even more critical for service industry as barriers can be low when it comes to product/service innovation, which leads us to the next lesson.

(3) Product and brand momentum counts for something, but when a technology company stops innovating, it's over. I would like to add that it applies to service companies as well.

In our firm, we seek to innovate in the way we serve, in our product offerings, in our marketing. Reason is because I believe innovation is the only way to not just survive (phase 1), grow (phase 2), dominate (phase 3), and finally hopefully do great things as an organization that people want to be a part of and customers want to be associated with us.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

The Law of Empowerment

By Dr. John C. Maxwell

Biographers universally agree that personal insecurity factored heavily in the downfall of former American President Richard Nixon. Rather than empowering others, President Nixon clutched at power so tightly that he lost all sense of morality and ethics.

Obsessively fearing his critics, Nixon authorized a domestic espionage group to spy on his political opponents. When members of the group were caught burglarizing the Watergate Hotel, Nixon tried unsuccessfully to cover up the incident. Eventually he resigned in shame, having left a dubious legacy of scandal.

Nixon's behavior in office violated the Law of Empowerment: Only Secure Leaders Give Power to Others.

Today, at a time when managers must do more with less - less people, less budget, less margin for error - leaders have no choice but to empower followers to share the load. Insecurity simply isn't compatible with survival. Even so, human nature resists empowerment. Let's look at three common tendencies that make empowerment a tricky task.

Three Obstacles to Empowerment

1) Desire for Job Security

The number one enemy of empowerment is the desire for job security. Weak leaders worry that they will become expendable if they train up talented subordinates. As a result, they retain a monopoly on select knowledge in the hopes of positioning themselves as irreplaceable. Some misguided leaders even go as far as undercutting those they perceive as potential rivals. Not wanting to be surpassed, they intentionally make others look bad from time to time.

Insecure leaders who prize job security are fiercely territorial. They stake out their turf and refuse to delegate. They want to be the go-to-guys so badly that they may senselessly refuse to train and empower others who could offer them assistance.

The truth is that the only way to make yourself indispensable is to make yourself dispensable. In other words, if you are continually able to empower others and develop them so that they become capable of taking over your job, then you will become so valuable to the organization that you become indispensable.

2) Resistance to Change

Nobel Prize-winning author John Steinbeck asserted, "It is the nature of man as he grows older to protect against change, particularly change for the better." By its very nature, empowerment brings constant change in that it encourages people to grow and innovate. Change is the price of progress.

Insecure leaders view change as a threat rather than an opportunity. They fear change rather than inviting it. As a consequence, insecure leaders have been known to act coldly toward newcomers. They cling to the established order and generally resent anyone who may disrupt it. Instead of empowering incoming personnel, they avoid working with them.

3) Lack of Self-Worth

Many people derive personal value and esteem from their title or position. When either is threatened, they feel as if their self-worth is under assault. Accordingly, they will firmly resist anyone or anything that could reduce their status.

On the other hand, author Buck Rogers says, "To those who have confidence in themselves, change is a stimulus because they believe one person can make a difference and influence what goes on around them. These people are the doers and the motivators." They are also the empowerers.

Summary

Enlarging others makes you larger. The purpose of power is to be distributed, not hoarded, but only secure leaders are able to give their power away. Recognize and resist the natural inclinations to keep a tight grip on power. In the long run, you'll be rewarded for letting go.

I'll close with a quotation on empowerment from decorated war hero and former vice presidential candidate, James B. Stockdale:

"Leadership must be based on goodwill... It means obvious and wholehearted commitment to helping followers... What we need for leaders are men of heart who are so helpful that they, in effect, do away with the need of their jobs. But leaders like that are never out of a job, never out of followers. Strange as it sounds, great leaders gain authority by giving it away."

"This article is used by permission from GiANT Impact. Find other leadership content, resources, training, and events at www.giantimpact.com."
Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Life's experiences - evaluate & improve

Someone once said that life is but a collection of experiences. When you speak to someone, isn't it true that if he has more experiences to share, that person is also more interesting to talk to; compared to another who has little or no experiences.

I find this to be true. During my training sessions, the more experiences I share with the participants about what we went through with other Schools; the more interesting the sessions turn out to be.

However, I also believe that with experiences we will need to exercise two key principles in order to get the most out of the experiences. One, is to evaluate or reflect on the experience. Say, if the experience was conducting a session where participants didn't find it useful, it is important to evaluate or reflect on that experience.

Here, evaluation must be done looking from a different perspective or seen from a bigger picture point of view. In other words, evaluated experiences give us perspectives. It could shed light on areas that we fail to see. Give us insights into certain angles of the same issue.

This will also give us plausible solutions or different ways of addressing the same issue with better results. Here, it brings to light what better ways we can approach this matter and bring about different and better outcomes. At this point, it is important to bring in the second principle; improve or to have the self-discipline to make changes to bring about better results.

It is not enough to know that we need to do things differently. It is also not sufficient to think of the possible ways to do it. We must also act on it. Once an experience is evaluated, we must take the steps to improve our approach. So that we will not be dragged into the same outcome again. The situation might be the same but the approach will be different and hence it might bring about better results.

So remember; while life is a collection of experiences, these experiences must be evaluated and the approaches must be improved so as to bring about better outcomes!

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Strategic Inflection Points

Andy Grove wrote about the Strategic Inflection Points (SIP) in his book "Only the Paranoid Survive". Its an old book but I think it contains a timeless principles that we can all learn from.

Long story short, organizations go through various SIP and what they do during and afterwards determine a large part of whether they will survive or not.

To relate it to personal experiences; its pretty much the same for individuals. Three short pointers for today:

1) Anticipative: it is one skill that if we master it will give us that significant leverage over many others. To prepare and train yourself for the SIP to happen. Just like what John Wooden said, "when the opportunity arrives it is already too late". So ask yourself how can you prepare and train yourself?

2) Seize the day: when you are well-prepared and the opportunity shows itself, be sure to act and act fast and decisively. Show no hesitation and move like a general would when the battle is fought.

3) Learn the lessons: no one can win every battle. What's more important is that we learn the lessons that come with it. Don't fall into the category of people who wonder what happened. Reflect and ask how else can you do it differently. It always start with self.

That said, it is my reflection of Chapter 3 of Leadership Gold on "defining moments".

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

What if I was wrong

Discipline, discipline, discipline.

As guys, most of learned about true discipline was went we served as conscripts. During my time, I was to get up at a certain time daily, polish my boots, clean my rifle, go on about our daily routine of a series of exercises. I hated it. Because it is against my will to do all these. What choice do I have but to comply.

Now, when we get a chance, our discipline is largely a factor of our willingness to comply to ourselves.

But what if I was wrong? By being disciplined it actually brings about no benefits whatsoever?

Let's look at the natural laws surrounding "discipline". I believe there are four natural laws that govern self-discipline. And they work for you if you acknowledge them and they work against you when you ignore them.

First is time. If you acknowledge it and make optimal usage of it by being self-disciplined; it works for you as you will see that the investment you've made will pay off everytime, like clock-work.

Second is relationships. If you acknowledge the importance of relationships and maintain self-discipline; you will almost always gain a better relationship than otherwise.

Third is money. Invest it wisely according to a set of self-disciplined rules and you will reap your rewards; else you will lick your wounds.

And finally, its health. Maintain a self-disciplined lifestyle and you will be in the pink of health. Otherwise, you will be spending time and money trying to get it back and at the same time cannot achieve quality relationships.

So, what if I was wrong? I will be engaging in time-wasting activities, spending money where it offers no real returns, beating my body up with toxic waste, and having lousy relationships with others.

So, what if I was wrong? Well, big time loser I will be!

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

99-Day

For those of you who have been following me on Twitter, you would have noticed that I've set myself up on this 99-Day journey.

A refresher for those not familiar; the 99-Day was modeled after President Obama first 100-Day in office. But I tweaked it a little, where I chose 99 instead of 100 because I have always been fascinated with the number "9". In case you are interested, according to numerology, my life path is also a 9!

I am reserving the 100th day for reflection and also to take another 9 days to set my targets for the next 99-Day journey. Personally I find this rather intriguing. First, to see the year in 365 days format seems too long for me. Besides, it would be a disaster to go all the way just to find out I wasn't even close in achieving my goals!

Second, seeing it in three phases of 99-Day appears to be better too. Perhaps I prefer seeing the year in three blocks rather than four (quarters). Additionally, if I set my goals for each quarter, then I may not have time to reflect and review my achievements and misses. So, in three phases of 99-Day allows me to work on my goals during each phase, after that take 1 day off to reflect and then take another 9 days to set goals for the next phase.

Third, it also allows me to measure up against my goal for the entire year. Giving me the opportunity to adjust my goals or to work harder on areas I've neglected.

As a concluding note, my professional goals were all achieved or even surpassed. But there are some personal and people goals that I will need to work harder on. So, off to my retreat for the 100th Day!

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Where there is no vision...

...the people perish. (Proverbs 29:18)

Helen Keller once remarked that there was one thing she knew of that was worse than being blind; it was to be able to see but have no vision.

The vision as the end in mind is so essential. And all leaders have seen in their minds' eye what the end goal is like. It is essential, if not critical, that we need an end in mind in our lives.

Imagine waking up each day and having no objectives to work towards, that's like it really doesn't matter whether you wake up or not!

Another reason why having a vision is so essential is this: everything that you now see; the plane and telephone all existed in the minds' eyes of the Wright Brothers and Alexandra Graham Bell.

But before we can have that visual representation of what we want to create, we need to unleash our imagination. Einstein said, "imagination is more important than knowledge". I totally buy-into that because given our existing knowledge (or thinking or paradigm or mindset) we cannot think about new possibilities unless we imagine, fantasize, day-dream. (So quit telling your kids to stop day-dreaming)

Einstein also said, "the current problems we have cannot be solved by our current level of thinking". That's why Covey preaches about changing behaviors lead to incremental improvements; while changing our paradigm (or current level of thinking) lead to quantum improvements!

So, leaders do (and I must) have a vision, an end-in-mind, but they also (and I must) think differently from others [see John Maxwell's book "Thinking for a Change" or his upcoming book on "How Successful People Think"].

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

John Wooden’s Strategy to Find Happiness

Today I'll like to share with you one phenomenal individual that I have come to know. He is John Wooden.

John Robert Wooden (born October 14, 1910) is a retired American basketball coach. He is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame as both a player (class of 1961) and as a coach (class of 1973). His achievements include 10 NCAA National Championships in 12 years while at UCLA are unmatched by any other college basketball coach.

He has a strategy in finding happiness and I'd like to share with you here.

John Wooden states that one should make and keep nine promises to find happiness. They are:

1. Promise yourself that you will talk health, happiness, and prosperity as often as possible.

2. Promise yourself to make all your friends know there is something in them that is special and that you value.

3. Promise to think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best in yourself and others.

4. Promise to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

5. Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

6. Promise to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the future.

7. Promise to wear a cheerful appearance at all times and give every person you meet a smile.

8. Promise to give so much time improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

9. Promise to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit trouble to press on you.

Now, how's that for happiness?

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Leadership... It's all about me!

Of course it's all about me! What were you thinking?

Now before you slam it down on me, hear me out yeah?

To paraphrase Gandhi, I must be the change that I want to see in the world. Hence of course leadership must first be all about me.

Until I am able to effectively lead myself, I can forget about leading others; let alone engage them. John Maxwell, in Chapter 2 of Leadership Gold, talked about the most difficult person to lead in the world is myself.

Walt and Selby Kelly themselves wrote and animated We Have Met the Enemy, And He Is Us in 1970. Covey said, "when you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem".

Hence, going by the wisdom of so many great men, I've come to believe it is without a doubt the truth. In fact, in the Principles of Engaged Mastery (TM) program, we urge participants to first master the art of self-mastery through the continual practice of four key principles: self-discipline, vision, rectitude, and legacy.

I firmly believe if you find a leader, look out for his level of self-discipline. You'd be amazed. Successful people hate it as much as less successful people when it comes to taking action. What makes them successful is their ability to subordinate their feelings and do it anyway. Less successful people just look for reasons or excuses for not doing it.

Another area that we can learn from leaders is how they manage their actions around time. There is no way anyone, save God, can manage time. Its simply a misnomer. But what we can manage is what we would within a given time-frame.

David Allen, the founder of Getting Things Done, taught me about the 2-minute concept. He said, if something can be done (and be done with it) within 2 minutes; do it. Don't wait, don't procrastinate, don't re-schedule it. Reason is simple. It takes more than 2 minutes to re-schedule it; so you are better off just getting it out of the way.

Will be back with the other three; reaching my stop in the subway.

Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)

Feelings Follow Thinking

One of those phases that has always been on my mind is, "why do we do what we do when we know what we know"?

Covey said, "common sense doesn't mean common practice".

As I attempt to uncover why do these happen, I found that John Maxwell also talked about this in "Go for Gold", where in one of the chapters he discussed "Feelings follow Thinking".

A good model that I refer to a lot and guides me in the many things I do is Gregory Bateson's neurological level of change. Bateson talked about the five levels; identity, values/beliefs, capabilities, behaviours, and environment.

Several people, including myself, have adopted and adapted this for their (my) work. Some replaced it with mindset, assumptions, actions, and results. For me, I add another dimension before identity; spiritual and uses a collective sum total of each level for an organizational context.

Today, let's just look at it from an individual's perspective to explain "feelings follow thinking".

Let's examine our actions. Our actions today will bring about the kind of outcomes tomorrow. In other words, our outcomes today were a product of our actions yesterday. In this times where the economy is in a tail-spin, how prepared we are is a function of what we have done in the past and it is also the environmental landscape in which we operate.

For instance, if we have always taken personal responsibility in our own development; in today's climate because of our cutting-edge knowledge and skills we will be spared the pink-slip. However, trained as we may be, if the organization we work for is not able to withstand the onslaught of the recession, we'll be axed nonetheless.

But if you ask anyone who's been shown the door if they knew about it, the odds are they knew. So, if they knew about it, then why didn't they do something about it previously when there was an opportunity?

Chances are, their replies would range from times were good, we were too busy, we didn't have the time, or we didn't think it will happen to us.

All said and done, I believe it is all about feelings. But where do we get our feelings from? Let's examine this closely.

I believe context gives words the emotional dimension. In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell talked about the experiment where individuals are showed a particular cluster of words and with that it evokes certain feelings. He went on to describe that if the words are shown in a particular sequence it evokes a feeling different from one where the sequence is changed.

That said, words (either flashed to us or said to us) can trigger certain feelings. In NLP we call this syntax. Studies have shown that if words were said to us, we were touched in a particular way, and in a certain type of environment we could feel loved.

Take for instance when giving feedback, do we tell the other person their flaws then give them the positive remarks or if we reverse the sequence it could result in very different reactions. What complicate matters is the fact that for different people, the same sequence could trigger different emotions.

Hence, understanding how particular type of feeling emerges and under what circumstances will give us a clue to how to re-create the same feelings over and over again.

Now, what's the benefit of that, you might ask. Think back to a time when you did something exceedingly well. Whether it is in the classroom or when you were making a great presentation. How would you describe the feelings? Did you feel resourceful or engaged or was it just a "flow"? What is it? Until we are able to identify those feelings, can we then narrow down to the specific elements that need to be there in order for you to experience those feelings again.

And what about the things that occupied your mind? What were you thinking? Was it an alignment of your thoughts and your beliefs/values that triggered those feelings? Once we can identify these elements, we can then re-create all those factors in our mind over and over again so that we can feel that way on demand and hence get us to take those specific actions over and over again.

Another benefit of this experiment is this. It helps us make the necessary changes.
Your friend,
Melvyn
(Sent from my Blackberry Bold)