What do you do when you don't achieve your goals?

What do you do when the goals you set, you failed to achieve them? There are usually one of two responses. Either we quit setting goals altogether (these stuffs don't work as well as they say it will) or we change the way in which we set them.

The first option is direct. No more goals setting for me. The second option deserves a little more explanation. Before we talk about changing the way we set goals, let's not forget the quote by Einstein, "to keep doing things the same way and expect different results is insanity". So, what exactly are the things we need to change?

To begin, let's draw a semi-circle and write the word "environment" above the line of the semi-circle. Next, on the left of the word "environment" draw an arrow with the head pointing to the top of the page. And on the right of the word "environment" draw another arrow with the head pointing to the bottom of the page.

What this symbolizes is the following; some people believe it is the environment that affects us. For instance, some of us may point to the fact that our current environment caused us to behave in a certain way. Some usual responses include, the economy is not doing well so we have less orders or my spouse doesn't trust me to do anything.

On the other hand, there is also a small group of us who believe that it is us that shape our environment. For instance, courtesy begins with me is a good example. Regardless of what others do to me, I will always be courteous to them. Or I will always respect and trust my friends regardless.

A parallel we've drawn in the school's context is the concept of rewards system and demerit points system. Some believe that values are caught and not taught and hence, we will reward students who demonstrate good behaviours. While others believe that everyone is good, until they show otherwise.

The former is akin to guilty until proven innocent, while the latter has the same principle as innocent until proven guilty. It creates a very different world. One tends to see everyone as good, while the other tends to view everyone with suspicion.

So, what relevance does this has to do with goal setting? Very much, I believe. If we believe its the environment that shapes us, then we have very little control over what can happen, and we end up feeling stressed. However when we believe it is us that shape the environment, then the only thing we need to control is ourselves. That said, mastery over self is but one of the most challenging things in life. Indeed, as there is no greater mastery that the mastery of self.

Once we understand this concept, of us being in a position to shape the environment; we will also need to understand that the only thing we can control is ourselves, and hence self-mastery must be the mother of all goals to be achieved. I'm not saying it is easy, I've spent many years and sometimes still find myself struggling to defeat the greatest enemy of all, myself.

Now, so you might think that once you have achieved self-mastery you will be able to achieve any goals! Why, that is but only half-truth. Achieving self-mastery is only one part of the story here. The other part of the story is to do with the environment. You might think, hey, you were just saying to achieve any goals we need to have self-mastery. Now you are telling me there is more to it??

We need to understand that as we work on our self-mastery, we can be a force to shape the environment. However, we also need to understand that as the environment is a function of many other influences, we cannot not ignore the happenings around us in order to help us better able to formulate winning strategies to achieve our goals.