Personal comfort is not the only thing worth seeking

"Personal comfort is not the only thing worth seeking," so says Lance Armstrong in his book, "Every Second Counts". The context with which he spoke about was on moving out of the comfort zone. You see, when things around us no longer challenge us the way it used to, we tend to either rest on our laurels or stop expanding our inner capabilities. When this happens, we become at the mercy of circumstances.

"Something in human nature causes us to start slacking off at our moment of greatest accomplishment. As you become successful, you will need a great deal of self-discipline not to lose your sense of balance, humility, and commitment."
— H. Ross Perot

I once mentioned to a friend that I'll want to be more productive in how I use my time. As time is the golden moment that we sometimes take for granted, we end up feeling lousy at the end of the day about how we've used it. Sometimes this could go on and on until the day of reckoning arrives. And this day of reckoning can be the day we lose our job, all of our savings, or it can be the day that we find out we are diagnosed with some nasty disease, or when our family and loved ones start losing faith in us, or when we are about to meet our maker.

By then, we suffer too hard a fall that some of us fail to pick ourselves up. For those of us who do, we will always remember the circumstances we were in and silently tell ourselves we will not go down that road again. But then again, we can promise not to harbour another idle thought, or not to overeat, or not to smoke another cigarette, or not to drink another beer. However we end up doing it once again. It seems like once the pain is over, when we get comfortable, we start indulging in lousy patterns all over again and self-sabotage.

It was once said to me that everyone should be motivated towards something BIG, so that the internal engine will hum and work all the time. I believe not. Instead, we must understand that we need a balance of both; motivated away and towards, and how much of which will depend on our circumstances. For instance, when I have a huge debt to service, I become really motivated to work on it so that I pay down my debts. However when it starts coming down, I become comfortable and say that maybe I could use a new watch or glasses or shoes. Don't get me wrong, it is not wrong to spend. But to spend without taking into account your current situation will lead you back where you came from.

So then what's the deal here? Again, it leads us back to how we make our choices, what our target is, and how we plan to get there. You see, some of us are motivated but only to a certain point, as described above. By understanding how we make our choices and combining it with a balance of motivation towards and away will ensure that we keep on the path. So let's say you want to quit smoking. We need to understand first how we make our choice to pick up a cigarette. Once we understand that, we now know what are the trigger points. What are the things or emotion we link to it.

So let's say you link smoking with pleasure, to relaxation, to taking a break. Then you need to know what are some of the signs that will trigger these. Perhaps whenever you feel like you've work too hard, you need break, so you reach for a smoke. So the next time you recognise that trigger, you first link it to all the unpleasantness you have identified; like you became a slave to the cancer stick, like you see yourself being shortchanged of an opportunity because of the lack of funds to invest in a hot stock, like you lose control over yourself, like your mate hates you when you smoke, like you become branded as indulgence in an increasingly anti-social behaviour, like you become sick and short of breadth, like you stink and become undesirable, like your prospect can't stand the stench and hence can't wait for the meeting to be over. Then the next step is to identify what you replace it with and how that will change the way you feel and all the good things that come with it. So, essentially, we are using a balance of both towards and away motivation to drive us towards our goal of not smoking.

The next is when you need a plan. For instance, challenge yourself that for the next 30 day on, you will stay off smoking and reward yourself with a variety of the towards motivation to reinforce the feel good factor. Once you start doing this, and for 30 days you will then find that its a lot easier to stick to your plan. And as we all have times when we need a little motivation towards, thats when our brain will start to want more of. And thats when we will be advancing faster towards our goal.

So bottomline is this, personal comfort will lead you to emptiness; as when you achieve it, you'll start wondering, what's next. But when you have a plan and that plan dovetail with your bigger plan, thats when we can drive ourselves to our ultimate goal.

I want you to succeed

Yes. I want you to succeed, period. You see, some people around you, be it your family and friends, do not want you to succeed. Ok, I know some of you might be thinking, "what's he on?" or "has he completely lost it?!". Now, before you start 'flaming' me or dismiss me altogether, let me share with you why I said this. But before we get to that, let me ask; how many of you are afraid of success?

So, what is success? My favourite short definition of success is by Earl Nightingale, "the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal". Because success is not a destination; it is a journey, or some will see it as a marathon without a finishing line. Metaphorically, the definition means that success is something that you achieve on an on-going basis. You set a worthy goal, something that is meaningful not just to you but also to the people around you and the environment that you live in, and you identify some milestones or indicators which shows whether you are on or off track. You see, success is not a grand prize that is achieved only by yourself. If that was the case, then you know your goal is not big enough. When you have a small goal, you not only limit yourself but you are also less motivated to work towards it because it does not move every pore on your skin.

When the goal you are after is huge, you need to enlist the help of others. And when you are able to do that, it means that people get excited about your goal. Perhaps it's because they would like to achieve a goal similar to yours but they feel they don't have the access to resources or they don't have the skills to do so. An example will be Dr Myron Wentz. His dream is a world free of diseases, which propelled him to sell off Gull Laboratories and start USANA Health Sciences. Given his dream to truly spread the word globally, he enlisted the help of several thousands individuals, who as independent distributors have little or no knowledge in cellular nutrition but are excited and shared about his dream. They participant in the business to spread the word and at the same time get compensated in monetary and other intangible gains, such as helping a friend.

You see, when your dream is big, it creates synergy that brings people from different walks of life, culture, faith, beliefs together to make it a reality. By taking on the leadership role, you paint a picture for others to dream about; you create a road-map to link their current situation to the dream, and more importantly you allow them to see for themselves how by connecting the dots they too will be able to achieve their dreams.

So, what is your own definition or favourite definition of success? I invite you to write it down. Make sure there is a worthy goal, that it's big and brings about synergy so that it will also excites others to want to participate.

Next, I'll like to invite you to list down the reasons why you think you are not successful (according to your own or favourite definition and not society's or your mom's definition - sorry mom). Once you have done that, distinguish those reasons that were caused by you and those reasons that were caused by external forces. Now, I've got good news and better news for you.

The good news is, for those of you who've got more external reasons than self-inflicted reasons you now know that you have mindset that needs to be changed. I mean, sure you can go out and blame your boss, colleagues, parents, friends, spouse, or even your cat for being the impediment to your success. Thing is, then who has control over your own success? Them or you? For those of you who've got more self-inflicted reasons or purely self-inflicted reasons, you now understand why you are yet successful. And the better news is, you are in control of whether you succeed or not from hereon.

Now that we have gotten over this, let us talk about why some people, including myself in the past, are afraid of our own success. To some of us, success, the way we define it, will result in some or massive changes depending on your size of the goal. The bigger it is, the more changes we anticipate. And being human, or the result of our conditioning, has led us to resist change. Why? Simply because we don't want to feel uncomfortable but like what Anthony Robbins said, "we want to move away from pain". By our definition of success, we foresee that it will cause us to become someone we don't want to be.

Some of us have strange prefixes such as filthy-rich or preconceived ideas that to be successful we have to be mean or cunning, or worse still, evil. Perhaps its something we picked up from shows such as Snow White (and her wicked but rich step-mother) or Working Girl (where the successful but lonely boss played by Sigourney Weaver). Or maybe it was your parents or relatives who related stories about how so-and-so who became successful by engaging in underhand or unscrupulous activities. Either way, these subliminal messages that reside in your subconscious mind are holding you back from your own success; hence you become afraid of your own success. Now, you need not go out and tell Walt Disney or your parents that they are wrong. As they serve a purpose. The purpose was to protect you, to show you the pitfalls before you fall. And these are useful because you now know that you can be successful doing the right thing. You can be successful being nice. You must not violate your own core values or you'll be sorry. So, embrace and acknowledge these messages and let yourself know that you will do the right thing and yet be successful.

So, the reasons why your friends or family don't want you to succeed is also because of such messages. It may not be the same as yours but they serve the same purpose. They don't wish that you lose your soul or become a totally heartless person when you become successful. Or on a less dramatic level, they want you to be around for them and to treat them the same as before. They do not want you to get hurt too. So, acknowledge that and better still engage them in your journey so that they can not only take part, but also contribute to your success.

Now, why do I want you to be successful? Why does this person who do not know you at all or well enough want you to succeed so bad? Because your success does not rob me of my successes. In fact, when you succeed it does not make me any less successful. It's not a zero-sum game. Or put it bluntly, your success has got nothing to do with me. So then why am I so darn serious about your success? It is because I believe that your success will bring about a better life for you and the people around you, providing your success does not accrue all benefits solely to you. And when that happens it allows others to gain their own successes.

Also, another important belief is that of abundance. Success, like I said is not a zero-sum game. In fact, there are people who wish you not succeed because they are envious or they want to feel superior that they are better than you. These are the people with the scarcity mindset. And not only will they hurt themselves as a result of this mindset, they will also impede others. And by adopting a scarcity mindset you do yourself more harm than good. So engage in an abundance mindset, a mindset that with more successes, it will bring about even greater successes. Hence, I really want you to succeed, period.

Its a choice you won't regret

I once bumped into an acquaintance, someone who was a friend of my friend. I called him and we spoke for a while. Initially he had trouble remembering my name; he still couldn't recall after a while. I reminded him but to no avail. Finally, I told him and it didn't ring a bell to him. However, after describing to him, he recalled, not my name but my actions he did. He said, "oh, you are the chain-smoker, I always see you with a cigarette in your mouth!". That was definitely not very flattering.

And that's how I was remembered. Question. How would you'd like to be remembered? For the wonderful things you did? Or for some actions you wouldn't be proud enough to brag about it? Certainly, if you are like most people, it will be the former I hope. Many of us behave in a certain manner that sometimes caused other people to recognise us in ways that we may not appreciate.

For instance, there are a few people in my Aikido class that aren't as popular as others. Not that they are mean, it's just the way they behave that caused others not want to be around them. There are also others who tried extremely hard to suppress or delay their emotions who after a while caused others to doubt their sincerity. Like I said, they are just like you and I who wants to be accepted; who wants to be liked (who here does not want to be liked?); who wants to blend in with the rest; who wants to belong to the group.

And that's fundamentally a human desire. The desire to be connected. I mean, I have yet to come across anyone who prefers to be by themselves. Even those weirdos, as we ignorantly called them, also have an innate desire to be connected to other people. Just because they don't feel comfortable with you and I doesn't mean they like to be alone. They probably feel more comfortable connecting with others through the computers or through pen-pals (how many of us still remember pen-pals?). Having said that, being connected through different channels will also, over time, shape your personality. Because of their affiliation with the computers and text messages, some of these individuals are viewed as "no EQ".

Personally I have encountered many such people through my course of work, and also others by the nature of their occupation, they treat people like how they would in their job; both positive and not so positive.

So, the point is this. How you identify yourself, your identity, your personality is something that some of us don't pay much attention to. For instance, by the way that acquaintance identify me could lead me to identify myself as a "chain-smoker". Can you imagine when I am trying to quit but that "label" stays with me subconsciously? Just like if someone identifies himself as the keeper of the law, he will tend to make sure that no one breaks the rule or he'll give them a earful. Or if someone identifies himself as a doctor, a healer; he may extend that identity to superiority! Or if someone is a consultant, he'll always be ready to dispense with advise.

Therefore, it is critical that we identify the identity that we want others to remember us for, something that we can be proud of, something that allows us to connect with other people; many different types of people. The company you keep will give you an idea. This is a choice we need to make as soon as possible, as its not only going to make our eulogy sounds much better; its also going to impact on our behaviour and hence how people treat us. Its not their fault if they think you are weird; its not their fault to think you are aloof; and its certainly not their fault to not include you on their Christmas get-together guest list. Its how to choose to be identified as that is causing people to treat you the way they do.

So, if you treat people with respect and love, they will reciprocate. May not be in the way you'd imagine or prefer, but it will certainly be on their minds. Its a two-way traffic; how you perceive others will treat you, you will return the favour. And as a result of them doing so, it will also mean that they love and respect you. With that, you will feel more comfortable being with them and hence you will start to act in a manner in which they will accept and return. If you think the best of humans, they will live up to your expectations; and same applies in reverse. Would you be disappointed from time to time, when someone fail to live up to your expectations or worse still, take advantage of you?

Yes, it will happen. The thing you need to remember is you can be responsible to them but you cannot be responsible for them. The actions or behaviour that others choose are entirely their choice. You just need to do your part and understand that their intentions are always good; may not be good for the people around them but the only reason why they behave in that manner is solely to protect themselves. Ultimately, its not your fault if they take advantage of you. As we discussed before; you can be responsible to them but you cannot be responsible for them.

What would you do?

I was invited to facilitate a school's strategic planning session recently. The participants were totally sweet, participative, positively oriented, and totally pragmatic. Too pragmatic perhaps. You cannot fault them, as their environment has conditioned them to think that there are certain fundamental issues to address and address those issues well they will.

In order to help them see beyond the current situation, to explore for a while in the near future, to take a step out of the present moment, and to open their minds to new possibilities; I asked them a critical question that was directed at me several years back.

The critical question was, "If time nor money were an object, what would you do?"

From time-to-time I asked myself this very same question. And if for a few days in a row I am not satisfied with my answers, I know its time to go to the drawing board. Sometimes, we can get a little caught up in the current situations, and also some of us may even be in a state of denial, "of course it is what I am doing!" However, just ask ourselves the follow-up question, and that is, if its what you are now doing, then are you happy? Can you rate your happiness a 8 or 9 or maybe even a 10, on a scale of 1 to 10? I discovered, if you can rate your happiness on that level, then you're alright. Just go back to work. But when you find yourself not comfortable with the level of happiness that you have appended, then its time to start asking more empowering questions, as its a sign that things are not as well as you want them to be. Don't brood over it, its perfectly alright if you are not yet happy. Its perfectly fine if you cannot give yourself a 9 or 10. Its perfectly okay that you may not be as happy as you want to be.

And the reason is because, there is still room for growth. There is room for improvement. There is room for excellence. There is room for expansion. There is room for acquiring new knowledge, skills, habits, competencies. There is room for accepting more challenges in your life. There is room for strengthening your strengths and acknowledging your enhancement hotspots. There is room for creating more opportunities.

Once you acknowledge this rather than beat yourself up and start asking disempowering or lousy questions or worse still start affirming negative beliefs about yourself, you'll be alright; for now that is.

When this happens, will it be more assuring to ask yourself what areas can I still improve upon so that I can be happier or would you rather be asking yourself, why is it that everyone seems to be getting on and moving up except me? If you are like me, I'll prefer to ask the former. Reason is obvious. The former allows you to gain a foothold, to plant a seed of possibilities in your mind, to stretch your imagination, to push you out of your comfort zone to make improvements in your life.

Its probably also a good idea to re-evaluate what you are doing and if what you are doing is making the best use of your time and money. Money, to me is just like oil. You need oil to push growth in an economy. You need oil to transport goods around. You need oil to get you to the other side of the world. You need oil to get your electricity. You need oil to get your automobile moving. You need oil even to sleep; well, at least to keep the air-conditioning or heater going. When there is a shortage of oil, growth becomes limited. With prices of oil going up, prices of related goods also start rising. With prices of goods rising, you are going to need an increase in your income as well so that you can, at the very least, still on par with your current lifestyle (even if its a frugal one). When you start asking for a raise, the cost of doing business for your employer goes up. When that goes up, your employer are going to start charging the clients more. However, if they are not able to raise their fees as they see fit, they are going to have to look at ways to trim costs. Maybe we will conserve energy. Something I read during the tech-bubble bust was, "due to recent cut-backs, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off". Just like this bumper sticker, perhaps we will cut down on other areas. Non-essentials. So your employer starts to go back to basics without the bells and whistles. Or maybe your employer decides that you should work longer hours just to keep your job as the increase in cost is eating into profit margins. As a whole, the economy will need to generate more income for everyone to keep up with the increase in oil prices. And in order to do that successfully, it will depends on whether the economy is heavily leveraged. If a lot of individuals are highly leveraged, in consumer spending and also in properties, then unless an increase in income happens, it will be difficult for them to keep up with their payments, or their homes. If the economy is not highly leveraged, then it is possible to get everyone to tighten their belts, and bite the bullet for the time being, until all is well or the cycle continues, viciously.

So, why is oil like money? You see, many people become slave to money. Working day and night for it. Doing anything possible and I mean ANYTHING, just to make a few more bucks. Some even do it at the expense of their health, integrity, or even their soul. When they adopt a mindset like that, do you think when they have made enough, if there is such a thing as enough for money, will their health, family, friends be there still? Maybe, maybe not. I'll bet on the latter. When you view money as a form of "energy", you then start to adopt a different perspective of things. Assuming that oil (it is not, but for the sake of our discussion I am making this bold assumption) or all collective form of energy is unlimited. As in, when all the oil wells dry up and peak production is reached; we will have alternative form of renewable energy such as wind. Therefore assuming that all collective form of energy (nuclear or otherwise) is unlimited, will you be willing to share or will you be keeping it all for yourself? By adopting a mindset of abundance, you not only allow the form of energy to flow through you, and not stop with you. Let's say suddenly you become pessimistic and start to keep barrels and barrels of oil in a warehouse in anticipation of an oil drought, and even when your neighbour or your best friend come asking you for some, as they are suffering from the lack of heat, and you unwillingly turn them away. Why, because you anticipate that you will need all the oil that you have to last you a lifetime. While it may be true, what you really need to focus on is not whether it will last you a lifetime. What you need to focus on is, if you are able to share your oil, will you also help others find ways to explore more oil fields; and as a result of that, they no longer need to bug you for oil and also, at the same time, now everyone has more oil!

So, my point here is, money is just a form of energy. What you really need to focus on is not whether you will have enough. But more importantly is whether in times of crisis, even if you need to cut back on your oil consumption; will you be able to afford it. Are you more heavily leveraged now than before? Are you able to use your time to equip yourself with the best resources available so that oil will always be there for you?

Break that Mindset!

The very word itself, mindset. It keeps us in a frame of mind that is set in its thinking.

What we really need to do is to break that Mindset!

In fact, stop using the word altogether!

We will need our frame of mind to be fluid and flowing. Always adaptable, always willing to seek new insights.

Be open and be respectful too.

If you look at the waves that have been happening over the last few decades, you will find some phenomenal changes that have happened. Some survived, some ultimately survived anyways but not at the expense of something else.

Looking back some 3 or 4 decades ago, you will find that companies were competing with each other largely on price. The, "You think you can go low?! Let's see who can go lower!" And obviously for these companies, the ones that were able to go lower win. Its like the Japanese dumping their goods in the US markets, only to drive the competitors out of business and then increase their prices thereafter. However, not every company is like the Japanese. Some can only go that low. Because there are still wages to pay, loans to service, bills to keep up. So, there is a limit as to how much lower any company can get, without lowering itself out of business.

Then came the, "Well, let's cut our costs so that we can go lower!" With this came the management restructuring, company downsizing, and process re-engineering. So you have a bunch of cost-cutting consultants who advise you where the fats are (not that you do not already know), where you can trim, how if you reorganise your shop floor will be able to streamline your processes, and hence viola! costs are brought down, you can go lower still, and drive out the competition.

After a while, it seems like we are streamlined to our neck! What else can we do? So, what if we do not carry stocks ourselves but let our suppliers carry the stocks for us until we need it? Great idea! Dell did it. JIT manufacturing became the next buzzword. Companies start pushing the baby to the guy lower in the value chain. That caught on quickly, and soon everyone is trying to do the same!

Now, there's no more costs to cut. So let's think out-of-the-box. Do more with less. Go for higher productivity. Let's do benchmarking. Go copy what the best in class is doing and if we can achieve that as well, we'll be ahead of the competition! So here comes the benchmarking consultants and their delivery of the best possibility frontier, to borrow an economics term. Now, we've copied everyone in the industry and more. What else?

How about we innovate? Develop a product where people will need where no one else is doing now! Great concept! Everyone now tries to create a brand, value-add, innovate, creativity. Then comes the creative thinking people. The ones who says you can use your left-brain and your right-brain! People start showing up at work with nose rings, ear-rings, nipple-rings, and what have you. Suddenly its cool to be creative! Let's drop the suit and put on our jeans. Lose the shirt and wear a round-neck. Having a goatie means you are a dude. Being bald is in! For a while, the deal was good.

Then of course, coupled with the fact that everyone was starting a new dot-com company faster than you can say dot-com! All projections and business models were written on napkins, back-of-the-envelopes, on your under-arm! Suddenly new players can now threaten the big boys! Boo-hoo! As you know it, the tech-bubble burst!

Now, everyone is out of job.

And the good news is, the change is not over yet!

It took 3-4 decades for all that to happen.

It will take half (or even less) the time for EVEN more changes to come on!

So, do you need to break that MindSet?

How you may ask!?

Stay tuned....

REIN-TIME

I've had this obsession for some time now, and that is what are some of the traits of successful people. One of the common traits that I've found out is, and I'm sure you'll have some references for what I'm about to say, how they use their time.

Someone once said, time is like a suitcase. Give the same suitcase to two different people and the amount of items each will put into their respective suitcases will differ. One may put more items in a suitcase then the other. Additionally, when you look at the kind of items each pack into their suitcases, it will generally reflect their personality. Perhaps one may wish to leave more space so that it can accommodate additional items. You get the idea.

Bottom line is, we can draw a parallel between time and suitcase. How for someone, it seems like they get a lot done within a day, while for another; its never enough time. In fact, I'm a proponent of being able to use your time in the most optimal fashion. Saying that puts me in the spot sometimes. You see, most people want to be able to spend time chilling out and just doing "brain-dead" activities. I don't deny we all need time to rejuvenate ourselves and we all need time to relax and stay away from 'work'. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

True. Having said that, Jack needs to be able to create a Balance between what's 'work' and what's 'play'. So for instance, if Jack chose to select a 30-70 rule in proportion to his work-play time division, then he needs to understand the returns this will give him. Should Jack be happy with the returns from this 30-70 division, so be it. Now, what I begin to hear about certain people is that they are not happy with the returns they have. "... but John has a bigger house!", "... but Jill now drives a BMW", and so on. However, they are not willing to relook at the fundamental equation of work-play time division. Worse they turn around and say, "... but I have a life you know?!"

One of my friends say, but you do not always put your time to 'productive' use. You need to relax your mind. Get away from the subject. Stand back. Ponder. Gain a new perspective. And I totally agree. I didn't say anything about making money! I only say, you put your time into the most optimal use. I don't think Mother Teresa spends her time reading trashy magazines or watching trashy movies! So, some may say, "... but I am not as great as she is you know?!" My respectful response will be, "You can if you choose to. In your current situation, you may choose another course of action, which doesn't confine you to only reading 'useful' materials and watching 'relevant' tv programmes." Of course, there are research out there that shows that sometimes staying away from the 'herd' instincts does pay. Just like in investment, where George Soros, Warren Buffett, and John Templeton certainly do not confine themselves to reading and watching what everyone else is reading or watching.

You can, and probably should; divide your time in an optimal fashion that you can get the highest returns, whatever your definition of returns may be. If you can just picture a downward slopping curve, with work on one axis and play on another. Any point on this curve will determine you work-play time division. And the curve that you are on will determine your returns. Let us assume that everywhere on this curve will give you the same level of returns now. In the immediate term. However, your choice of the position on the curve will determine how your time curve will look like in the future.

Let's take an example that, you have a fixed amount of monies in a time deposit. It will generate a fixed amount of income for you, based on the existing rate of returns. Now, assume you do not do anything to cause this amount of monies to grow overtime, do you think your returns will remain the same over the years? In fact, for most of you, you'll already know that your returns will diminish in value over the years. Faced with an inflation, you could even possibly run the risk of drawing on your fixed amount of monies, thereby reducing this sum and causing your returns to diminish even more. So, certainly you can still engage in the same work-play time division, but your returns will change over time.

Of course relating this to real life, when you fail to invest your time in a manner that places you in an advantageous position that in the event of certain fundamental shifts in the economic structure, social conditions, or political upheaval.

For the second part of this blog, I'll like to touch on the systems perspective to respecting your own time. Picture this for a second. Say, Jill, a good-natured graduate who left her employer to start her own enterprise. With her experiences and educational background, she is able to provide consulting services to small business on their marketing plans. Being a one-woman outfit, she then decide to be contactable and so got herself a blackberry where she will always be able to answer to emails on the fly. Great for the customer. They feel like they are the only customer and that she is dependable. Of course, Jill does a decent job (probably more than decent as she needs to prove herself). After a while, it got the client thinking. Wait a minute, if she is able to answer to my mails so promptly and is always contactable whenever I need to speak with her, then she might not have a very large client base. If she doesn't have a large client base, which means she will be hungry for business. And if she is hungry for business, she will be willing to accept a lower fee than others who have more clients and are more successful, and possibly better at what they do as well. Now, Jill thinks she is proving an excellent service to the client by being prompt and diligent. Meanwhile, she attempts to ask for a higher fee and find that this become quite challenging. As a result, she needs more contracts to keep herself afloat and because of that she spreads herself too thin and might even ends up compromising on her quality of work, which will prove the client's perception that "... maybe she's not that good".

Now, lets examine this illustration in detail. First, Jill does everything she could to provide the best services for her client. Second, the client is basically just perceiving all of these, where it may not be real in the first place. However, as a result of Jill, unknowingly not respecting her own time, she created a delusion for her client that she may not be too hot a consultant if she is always at the beck and call of the client. Another interesting factor involved in this is, when the client has the slightest thought that "... maybe she's not that good", the client has already activated his reticular activating system, where subconsciously he will be looking for evidences that "... maybe she's not that good". And as we all know, what the mind seeks, the mind finds. Now, the client will start having evidences that "... maybe she's not that good" and as a result of that be not willing to pay her higher fees for her services.

Please don't get me wrong here. I am certainly not advocating that you suddenly refuse to take the calls of people, stay aloof, and demands everyone to make an appointment with you just to see you. Should you do that, you'll see a slight in your popularity that will very soon make you redundant in your organisation or your industry. What I am saying is simply this. Respect your own time. If you say you are going to devote 30-70 to work-play, for heaven's sake, adhere to this and do not let others talk you out of it. There will be people who will sway you from your firm adherence to your work-play division, and that is because its not the social norm that is practiced by everyone. These people probably tried doing it themselves but met with limited success or just didn't have the courage to see it through. What I'm saying is, your firm adherence may make them uncomfortable.

Now, once you firmly adhere to your 30-70 division, you not only demonstrated to others, but more importantly; demonstrated to yourself that you are serious about this commitment and not just paying lip service. When others observe this from the outside, what they generally see is a focused individual who works at what he desires. And how would you feel when you meet someone like that? You'll respect them! You'll not waste the time of Donald Trump, or Warren Buffett, or Steve Jobs. When you respect their time, you'll find that whatever time you spend with them was well worth it, and also you appreciate them taking time off their schedule to be with you. You'll feel honoured as well. You'll feel special. More importantly, you'll find that whatever they tell you to be of value of some sort because your reticular activating system is turned on and your subconscious mind is searching for evidence to back this up.

Of course, if you are Jill, you'll need to be of certain substance. But what can you do if you are in Jill's shoes? If you totally respect your own time, you might get a voice mail instead, so that you can screen the calls and return the ones that are important or urgent. You might check your emails but choose to respond to those that are of priority to you. You may wish to allocate your time and activity in such a way that you can allow yourself to play? You don't want to work yourself to death! See, as a consultant, when you stop working, your income stops as well! What's more, you can invest in an inexpensive call answering service that will screen the calls for you. More importantly, you will be able to demonstrate to clients that when you are with another client, the time is for that client you're physically with. You want to be fair to this client who is currently with you and will give them the same priority if you are with them as well.

So, bottom line of this blog is to REspect and INvest your TIME.

Now for the challenge of the day:

1) Itemise what you do each day for at least a week.

2) Look at the time-stealers (things that are unproductive) and look at how much more you can achieve if you were to fill these (maybe not all, as you're not a dull child) with optimal-time activities?

3) Visualise yourself doing this to see if you are comfortable with this new work-play division.

4) Once you are done visualising, be sure to adhere to it firmly, respect your own time by investing it by engaging in more meaningful activities.


Love and respect,
Melvyn Tan

PS: Just a side note. There was once a friend of mine referred a website designer to me because I was looking for one. I spent at least 2 hours explaining to him about what I do and what I'll like to do for my company's website. To be fair, he did gave some good suggestions and proposed to get back to me with a proposal and quotation. He asked for one week. Its been more than a month now. I hope he's not met with some mishap that impede his speech or ability to send emails. God bless him.