Conscious vs Unconscious choices

Once we have learned about how making different "CHOICES" will have an impact on our action, and hence the results we get in life. This in turn determine our destiny or future. Therefore, up until now, the type of results that you have are a consequence of your choices you made earlier. Perhaps just think for a second, how some of the choices that you have made have brought you to where you are now. Further, just imagine that for some reason, if you have made a different choice, your results now could be drastically different.

To explain this, we can think of flying a plane as a metaphor. You see, at take off, the pilot will steer the plane in a particular direction based on the calculations and using the instruments to help him. Along the way, imagine just a 1-degree divergent made can impact on difference between the final destination. We've always joked that pilots making their way to Singapore, and it being such a small island, could end up in Batam, Indonesia or Johor, Malaysia if they just made a small divergent in terms of direction.

Of course some of the seemingly silly choices we made in the past could have landed us in some trouble; and in retrospect we can choose to laugh it off or we can choose to hold on to the negative emotions. Either way, we made a choice and with that choice, it can determine if we will just 'move on' or we are 'stuck'. Some of us let those choices and its consequences hold us hostage by choosing to hang on to the negative emotions. We all have experiences like this. However, some of us chose consciously, while some of us have made an unconscious choice. And because of the latter, it has resulted in us sabotaging our own plans.

To deal with those conscious choices that have seemingly not so good consequences is a lot easier (I am not saying it is easy). However, to deal with those unconscious choices can be a little tricky. First, for the person who have made this unconscious choice earlier on in life and hence caused a seemingly not so good consequence, at this moment, he probably does not even know about it. Without acknowledging or being aware of the fact that you may have made a lousy unconscious choice in the past could result in denial. A coach or a mentor may see that and alert you. But because you have made the choice in an unconscious fashion, you may even choose to not realise it.

Sometimes these unconscious choices can be good, while other times it can have adverse effects on your performance. Whether its good or adverse; the fact that you are unaware (it being an unconscious choice) means you have no idea how you arrive at those choices, which means even if you want to replicate the results you can't. Or even if you want to stop making such choices that are affecting your performance in an adverse manner, you can't. Its a typical situation like when you are on a run, and your friend/colleague ask you how do you do it; and you just say, "I don't know". Or if you are feeling frustrated because you have stopped a habit successfully in the past, but suddenly because of certain elements you are now on it again and you are feeling frustrated because you want to stop!

Challenge for you: Pick one habit you'll like to stop and do this as an initial phase

Take the following steps:

Step 1: What about this habit do you not like?

Step 2: If you stop this habit for good, what good does it do for you?

Step 3: What is the cause of you not being able to stop this habit?

Step 4: Every time when you need to indulge in this habit, what goes through your mind?

Step 5: What will happen if you do not stop this habit?

Step 6: What will you replace this habit with and yet retain the good intention of the behaviour?

Love and respect,
Melvyn Tan